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"By the terms of my doom," said she, "at no time during the nine lives of the
cat can I refuse. Still, it is a comfort you are the Emperor of Noumaria and
have a kind heart."
"Oh, and a many other possessions, my dear! and I again assure you that I
intend to deal fairly with you."
So Florimel conducted Jurgen, through the changeless twilight of Barathum,
like that of a gray winter afternoon, to a quiet cleft by the Sea of Blood,
which she had fitted out very costly in imitation of her girlhood home; and
she lighted a candle, and made him welcome to her cleft. And when Jurgen was
about to enter it he saw that his shadow was following him into the Vampire's
home.
"Let us extinguish this candle!" says Jurgen, "for I have seen so many flames
today that my eyes are tired."
So Florimel extinguished the candle, with a goodwill that delighted Jurgen.
And now they were in utter darkness, and in the dark nobody can see what is
happening. But that Florimel now trusted Jurgen and his
Noumarian claims was evinced by her very first remark.
"I was in the beginning suspicious of your majesty," said Florimel, "because I
had always heard that every emperor carried a magnificent sceptre, and you
then displayed nothing of the sort. But now, somehow, I do not doubt you any
longer. And of what is your majesty thinking?"
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice
120
"Why, I was reflecting, my dear," says Jurgen, "that my father imagines things
very satisfactorily."
38. As to Applauded Precedents
AFTERWARD Jurgen abode in Hell, and complied with the customs of that country.
And the tale tells that a week or it might be ten days after his meeting with
Florimel, Jurgen married her, without being at all hindered by his having
three other wives. For the devils, he found, esteemed polygamy, and ranked it
above mere skill at torturing the damned, through a literal interpretation of
the saying that it is better to marry than to burn.
"And formerly," they told Jurgen, "you could hardly come across a marriage
anywhere that was not hallmarked 'made in Heaven': but since we have been at
war with Heaven we have quite taken away that trade from our enemies. So you
may marry here as much as you like."
"Why, then," says Jurgen, "I shall marry in haste, and repeat at leisure. But
can one obtain a divorce here?"
"Oh, no," said they. "We trafficked in them for a while, but we found that all
persons who obtained divorces through our industry promptly thanked Heaven
they were free at last. In the face of such ingratitude we gave over that
profitless trade, and now there is a manufactory, for specialties in men's
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clothing, upon the old statutory grounds."
"But these makeshifts are unsatisfactory, and I wish to know, in confidence,
what do you do in Hell when there is no longer any putting up with your
wives."
The devils all blushed. "We would prefer not to tell you," said they, "for it
might get to their ears."
"Now do I perceive," said Jurgen, "that Hell is pretty much like any other
place."
So Jurgen and the lovely Vampire were duly married. First Jurgen's nails were
trimmed, and the parings were given to Florimel. A broomstick was laid before
them, and they stepped over it. Then Florimel said "Temon!"
thrice, and nine times did Jurgen reply "Arigizator!" Afterward the Emperor
Jurgen and his bride were given a posset of dudaïm and eruca, and the devils
modestly withdrew.
Thereafter Jurgen abode in Hell, and complied with the customs of that
country, and was tolerably content for a while. Now Jurgen shared with
Florimel that quiet cleft which she had fitted out in imitation of her
girlhood home: and they lived in the suburbs of Barathum, very respectably, by
the shore of the sea. There was, of course, no water in Hell; indeed the
importation of water was forbidden, under severe penalties, in view of its
possible use for baptismal purposes: this sea was composed of the blood that
had been shed by piety in furthering the kingdom of the Prince of Peace, and
was reputed to be the largest ocean in existence. And it explained the
nonsensical saying which Jurgen had so often heard, as to Hell's being paved
with good intentions.
"For Epigenes of Rhodes is right, after all," said Jurgen, "in suggesting a
misprint: and the word should be
'laved'."
"Why, to be sure, your majesty," assented Florimel: "ah, but I always said
your majesty had remarkable powers of penetration, quite apart from your
majesty's scholarship."
For Florimel had this cajoling way of speaking. None the less, all vampires
have their foibles, and are nourished by the vigor and youth of their lovers.
So one morning Florimel complained of being unwell, and attributed it to
indigestion.
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice
121
Jurgen stroked her head meditatively; then he opened his glittering shirt, and
displayed what was plain enough to see.
"I am full of vigor and I am young," said Jurgen, "but my vigor and my
youthfulness are of a peculiar sort, and are not wholesome. So let us have no
more of your tricks, or you will quite spoil your vacation by being very ill
indeed."
"But I had thought all emperors were human!" said Florimel, in a flutter of
blushing penitence, exceedingly pretty to observe.
"Even so, sweetheart, all emperors are not Jurgens," he replied,
magnificently. "Therefore you will find that not every emperor is justly
styled the father of his people, or is qualified by nature to wield the
sceptre of
Noumaria. I trust this lesson will suffice."
"It will," said Florimel, with a wry face.
So thereafter they had no further trouble of this sort, and the wound on
Jurgen's breast was soon healed.
And Jurgen kept away from the damned, of course, because he and Florimel were
living respectably. They paid a visit to Jurgen's father, however, very
shortly after they were married, because this was the proper thing to do. And
Coth was civil enough, for Coth, and voiced a hope that Florimel might have a
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good influence upon Jurgen and make him worth his salt, but did not pretend to
be optimistic. Yet this visit was never returned, because Coth considered his
wickedness was too great for him to be spared a moment of torment, and so
would not leave his flame.
"And really, your majesty," said Florimel, "I do not wish for an instant to
have the appearance of criticizing your majesty's relatives. But I do think
that your majesty's father might have called upon us, at least once,
particularly after I offered to have a fire made up for him to sit on any time
he chose to come. I consider that your majesty's father assumes somewhat
extravagant airs, in the lack of any definite proof as to his having been a
bit more wicked than anybody else: and the childlike candor which has always
been with me a leading characteristic prevents concealment of my opinion."
"Oh, it is just his conscience, dear."
"A conscience is all very well in its place, your majesty; and I, for one,
would never have been able to endure the interminable labor of seducing and
assassinating so many fine young fellows if my conscience had not assured me
that it was all the fault of my sisterinlaw. But, even so, there is no sense
in letting your conscience make a slave of you: and when conscience reduces
your majesty's father to ignoring the rules of common civility and behaving
like a candlewick, I am sure that matters are being carried too far." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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